If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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