Well apparently he's into motor boating.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
