I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
