I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
