It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
