looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
