I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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