Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
