How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
