Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
