it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
