I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
