Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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