You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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