And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Still dying that you shit outside
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize