it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
