I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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