Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
