she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
