After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
