I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
