i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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