In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
