we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
