so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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