I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
