i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I smell stomach acid.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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