need another drink. this is the easiest way
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
