3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
