I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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