I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
