Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
