She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
