Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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