Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize