I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
