It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
