Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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