so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
