Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
