I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
