She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
