hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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