Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
