Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
