if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
