She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
