my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
