I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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