idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
