Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
