whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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