3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
