We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
