dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
