Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
