My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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