please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
