I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
