no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
