my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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