Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
