I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Randomize
