I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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